"A mentor is someone farther down the path than you, who is going where you want to go, and who is willing to give you some light to help you get there."

• The woman who has never given birth physically still has a God-given mothering capacity.
• Everyone is younger than someone and older than someone, so spiritual mothering takes place on a continuum.

Women in their '20s and 30s are dialing a Spiritual 911!

This generation desperately needs help. Why do so many young women need spiritual mothers? First, our culture is not set up for natural mentoring. For one thing, people move around a lot, unlike previous generations. There is also a lack of modeling. In fact, about 50% of the young women in a typical large, healthy church come from broken homes, and don't even know what a godly women looks like. Finally, there's an isolation problem. Younger women in our culture don't have the built-in arenas for sharing life that their grandmothers and great-grandmothers did. Many women today are fearful of rejection, so they choose not to risk it and simply keep to themselves.

What are the messages creating all the chaos we see?

• You can--and should--have it all. Passion, pleasure, respect, true love, satisfying work, money, power.
• Put your needs first. You'll be better able to take care of others if you take care of yourself first. Demand your rights!
• You needn't be subject to anyone else's opinion. In fact, all opinions are equally valid. No one has more of a grasp on truth than anyone else. Most importantly, you need to find someone to validate your opinions.
• You don't, ultimately, need anyone. You are self-sufficient.

In fact, the spiritual leader of millions of women--Oprah--made this statement on her show recently. "That's what all spiritual teaching is about: that you're somebody all by yourself." Is that what OUR spiritual teaching is about?

• Your main goal in parenting should be to nurture your child's self-esteem and ensure his/her continual happiness.
• You dare not submit to any man, or he will try to take advantage of you.

This generation has had few examples of loving, committed partners in marriage, especially men who love their wives and inspire loving submission from their wives.

The fourth and perhaps the biggest obstacle to spiritual health in this generation is that everything compels us to serve ourselves. Susan Hunt writes, "Many women today are overwhelmed with the complexity of life. They are floundering because they have no focal point. A four-letter word causes us enormous problems: S-E-L-F. Our self-inclination will send us reeling unless we have settled that core issue: what is our life purpose?"

Well, the good news is that these problems are not as new as we think. They were far from unknown in the Apostle Paul's day. In fact, the people of Crete (where Titus pastored) were known as drunken, insolent, untrustworthy, lying gluttons; tricky, deceitful, and full of strife. They were also bombarded with false teaching. (Sound like any culture you know?) In the New Testament book of Titus, we find Paul's wonderful job description for mature older women, those who would pass on godly principles to younger women. His letter to Titus dealt with individual groups in the church: "Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God"Titus 2:3-5.

What does that say to the pastor/Christian leader of a church? It gives him or her a very specific two-part strategy that shouldn't be ignored. Here's the mandate in a nutshell: Our pastors should be teaching the older women in their churches to be prepared to train the younger.

Then women of all ages will be godly, equipped, sharing Christ's love. The excitement of young women who see godly older women in action is expressed well in these words, uttered by a woman in her '20s: "These are such women-women, and I am such a girl-woman!"

First, pastors are to teach godly characteristics to the older women. Titus 2:3-5. Notice the qualifiers in this section2:1-5.

At the beginning of the chapter, we see the quality qualifier: the teaching is to be sound and healthy ("You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine").

Notice also the age qualifier. This helps us to answer a number of questions: On whom is this to be focused? Who is to receive this sound, doctrinal teaching? What was meant by "older" in this context? There are two options:

• People were considered young until past the age of 30.
• The "older" person was someone whose children were grown and gone. In our context it might mean the children are in higher education.

Susan Hunt points out, "Titus was not told to teach those women who were interested in signing up for the course. The command seems to be inclusive... no exceptions."

Why is this group so significant and uniquely qualified to offer the correct teaching? They have experience as parents and in life, and are now needed as mentors. In general, they possess experience and wisdom. Their rough edges have been honed by time and the Lord's discipline; and they model serenity (due partly to a long-term perspective. Young women don't often see life in the long term).

Another reason God has ordained this ministry is that it will bless the older woman too; if she feels useless or stagnant, simply rehearsing the goodness of the Lord in her life is bound to refresh her. Here's a Great Model: Elizabeth (Luke 1:39-45) "At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah's home and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: ''Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!" Then Mary sang her beautiful song... and the Bible says she stayed with Elizabeth for about three months and then returned home. Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, models beautiful humility here! She could have complained because the younger woman would have the greater honor of bearing the Messiah. She didn't. She encouraged and built up Mary. Notice the qualities desired in the older women v. 3. Young women, if you want to know where you should be going, then this passage is also a preview. It is never too early to start working on the priorities in this list!

Anna, in Luke 2:36-38, exemplified this reverent attitude when she encouraged Mary and Joseph at the temple. "There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem." Can you imagine what an encouragement this was to the young teenager Mary?

Why this emphasis on reverence? Paul is drawing a contrast between the false teachers in Crete and those who are true Christians. Earlier in the letter, he had described these people as those who "claim to know God, but by their actions...deny Him"1:16. In other words, they were NOT living lives consistent with the nature of God.

How does this quality manifest itself? This can be explained both positively and negatively. Holiness/a reverent lifestyle can be characterized by what one chooses to do and by what one chooses not to do. "It's not just the don'ts that you don't, it's also the do's that you do." The "don't" is that these older women chose to avoid all moral compromise. It was not an option for them. The "do" is that they would concentrate on a lifestyle filled with all kinds of goodness because of their intimate relationship with God. That's the kind of older woman the younger woman needs to see: "a holy woman--no moral compromise and filled with goodness."

This attitude removes the compartments of life: things are not sacred or secular to this woman. "A woman like this will pursue her personal relationship with God with a deep passion. She will value all of life equally, from the car pool to the corporation." This reverence demands dying to self, which produces love, and love-filled lives will speak volumes to younger women.

This is, in essence, what Paul meant when he wrote that older women were to "be reverent in the way they live." This kind of consistent lifestyle was, of course, to characterize ALL Christians, men and women. In fact, Paul begins this paragraph directed to women with the transitional word "likewise," referring back to what he has just taught to older men. In essence, he reiterates to older women what he has just written to older men, but with a special emphasis for women.

Second, older women are not to be slanderers-- v. 3b. Using the tongue appropriately is a recurring problem for all human beings, and though it is certainly an area of weakness for both men and women, Paul specifically zeros in on this problem for women.

James dealt with it rather extensively in his letter to New Testament believers, pointing out graphically that a Christian's tongue serves as a precise measurement of Christian maturity (James 3:2). If we can control our tongue, he stated, we can usually control every other part of our personality.

To get his point across, James used three descriptive illustrations. With a tiny bit we can control a large horse; with a small rudder (relatively speaking) we can direct the course of a huge ship, and with a little spark we can set a great forest on fire--James 3:3-6. James then made the application: the "tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts...It corrupts the whole person," James 3:5-6.

The most serious consequence of a tongue "out of control" is what it does to others. This is what Paul had in mind when he exhorted Titus to teach older women not to slander. Malicious gossip is horribly destructive, resulting in the opposite of what Christians are to do for one another: it tears others down rather than build them up. On the one hand, words can be "like a club or sword or a sharp arrow" when used to hurt people (Prov. 25:18). On the other hand, spoken at the right time and in the right way, words are "like apples of gold in settings of silver" (Prov. 25:11).

Vickie Kraft wrote, "A woman who is rooted in a deep relationship with God will not have the overwhelming need to pass on juicy tidbits to enhance her own popularity..."

Third, they are not to be addicted to much wine-- v. 3c. Persistent drinking and drunkenness were common problems in the first-century world as throughout history. Many converts to Christianity had developed this kind of lifestyle, women included. Many women, in fact, no doubt used wine as a means of coping with the anxiety and stress caused by the way they were treated by men.

It was rather common for a man to consider his wife a slave, a convenience, a bearer of children who might thereby enhance his reputation in the community. Coming to know Christ, however, radically changed women's status. Paul wrote that in Christ there is neither male nor female. We "are all one"--Gal. 3:28.

In Christ we are heirs together "of the gracious gift of life"--I Pet. 3:7. But having a new spiritual position does not automatically change a person's self-image or immediately break old habits; usually this is a process. Evidently some of the older women in Crete, even as Christians, were still drinking too much.

The word "addicted," as used by Paul here, actually means being "in bondage" or being a "slave" to wine. This, Paul wrote, is not a mark of maturity, nor should it be a part of a Christian's lifestyle. Thus Paul instructed Titus to teach the older women not to be "addicted to much wine." As people who were Christians and new creatures in Christ, they were to break away from their old hurtful habits.

Fourth, they are to teach what is good --v. 3d. In describing the qualities that should characterize the lifestyle of an older Christian woman, Paul zeroed in on two overarching positive traits. First, they were to be "reverent in the way they live" and second, to "teach what is good." Again we see a classic pattern in Paul's approach to Christian communication, one obvious throughout his letter to Titus. An overall godly lifestyle was to form the basis for effective verbal teaching. The life lived in accordance with sound doctrine would enable these women to effectively communicate with younger women how to walk in the will of God, which Paul classified as good and pleasing and perfect (Rom. 12:2). Thus Paul introduced verse 4 by saying, "Then they can train the younger women;" that is, if they are living as they should, they will be able to communicate effectively. Not only will they know God's Word, but they will know how biblical principles apply to specific situations.

On to Part Two